I usually don’t write posts like this, but it’s been weighing heavy on me and God has been calling me to start sharing my life and my journey in hopes to maybe help someone else. My FA is slowly getting worse. It is getting harder to do simple things and it takes longer to do everyday tasks. I am more and more off balanced every time I go out. It takes every ounce of energy to just stand up. And that’s just the tip of the iceberg.
Yesterday was the first time that I used my walking stick to help with stability. I wasn’t sure how this was supposed to help me stay upright, but I gave it a try with a very close mind. FA takes a tole on you not only physically but emotionally and mentally too. I always told myself I shouldn’t cry, crying makes me seem weak. So I would be stoic and strong and cry alone but I wouldn’t do it often. Then I would explode...and be an emotional wreck and push the people closest to me away. Every time I have that explosion of emotions I would feel better after. I’d feel hopeful, and It seemed like after I cried I would see the world differently. Better.
Human tears contain a natural painkiller called leucine enkephalins. Which is why you feel better after you cry. Cry. It will be okay. Having a bad day? It will be okay. FA absolutely sucks. Slowly losing my abilities absolutely sucks. But. It will be okay. I know I am strong..the Lord is strong and mighty and he only gives his hardest battles to his strongest soldiers.
Everything will be okay.
Yesterday was the first time that I used my walking stick to help with stability. I wasn’t sure how this was supposed to help me stay upright, but I gave it a try with a very close mind. FA takes a tole on you not only physically but emotionally and mentally too. I always told myself I shouldn’t cry, crying makes me seem weak. So I would be stoic and strong and cry alone but I wouldn’t do it often. Then I would explode...and be an emotional wreck and push the people closest to me away. Every time I have that explosion of emotions I would feel better after. I’d feel hopeful, and It seemed like after I cried I would see the world differently. Better.
Human tears contain a natural painkiller called leucine enkephalins. Which is why you feel better after you cry. Cry. It will be okay. Having a bad day? It will be okay. FA absolutely sucks. Slowly losing my abilities absolutely sucks. But. It will be okay. I know I am strong..the Lord is strong and mighty and he only gives his hardest battles to his strongest soldiers.
Everything will be okay.
-M
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